Bad engagement rings from the men of our dreams? It does happen. But there are ways to handle the situation without hurt feelings or fighting.
“Can you return engagement rings?” is probably one of the most commonly asked questions by men while shopping for the perfect ring for their beloved. Of course, men may think they know our style, tastes, and preferences, but honestly, ladies, the truth is that men are clueless when it comes to this kind of stuff!
You can’t exactly blurt out “OMG, Yes I’ll marry you, but I hate my engagement ring!” without hurting his feelings or starting an argument. So how do you tell that love of your life that you adore him to no end, but he has fallen short in the ring department? We have gathered some expert advice on just how to handle this situation!
How To Deal With Bad Engagement Rings
- Plan Ahead
If you are at that point in your relationship where you have seriously discussed marriage and you know that he is considering buying an engagement ring, it’s a good idea (and very helpful for him) for you to start dropping hints as to exactly what kind of ring you would want. You can discretely leave around photos of the ring you like or if you are more comfortable, show it to him directly.
Today, it is customary for a lot of couples to shop for the ring together. That way, you can get exactly what you want. And here’s a piece of advice from the experts for men: You can always buy an inexpensive “holder” ring at WalMart or another less prestigious jewelry store if you want her to be surprised by your romantic proposal. Tell her this is just a “place holder” ring (or to use the old-fashioned term “promise ring”) until the two of you can go ring shopping together. If nothing else, she’ll have another ring to wear to remind her of that special day!
- Don’t Panic
Whatever you do, do not panic or overreact. You don’t want to ruin the magic of the moment with your disdain over his choice of engagement ring. Nor do you want to hurt his feelings or jeopardize your relationship. Chances are your ring will have to at least be resized if nothing else, so your fiancé is probably prepared to make another trip to the jewelry store.
- Give It A Trial Run
Wear the ring for at least a day before you tell him your feelings. First of all, it might actually grow on you. And secondly, if you ask him the story behind the ring, it might turn out that the ring was his mother’s or great-grandmothers and has sentimental meaning. Or he his reasons for purchasing that particular engagement ring will actually move you to tears. If this is the case, and you have given it a day or two and you still don’t like the ring, you can think of a way to tell him calmly and tactfully.
- Be Completely Honest (But Gentle) With Your Fiancé
Honesty is always the best policy, but it’s all about how you handle it. You don’t want to get angry and say something that you’ll regret. Put yourself in his shoes. He probably spent hours, days, weeks or even months agonizing about finding the perfect ring for you. You don’t want to minimize that, nor the intent behind the ring. After all, he is proposing to you and asking you to spend the rest of your life with him.
Also, never say anything derogatory about the ring itself. Just simply tell him that while it’s a beautiful ring and you love the fact that he chose it for you, that it’s simply just not your style. You can suggest that the two of you go shopping for a new ring together. This way you won’t start a big row, or hurt his feelings. Whatever you do, you don’t want to take away from the magic of the moment.
- Inquire About The Return/Exchange Policy
Hopefully, your finance asked about the return/exchange policy before he purchased the ring. And he kept all of the necessary paperwork. Most jewelers have a 30, 60 or 90 day return policy. If they have an exchange policy, you can shop for a new ring at the same place along with your fiancé.
- Find Out Your Options
In addition, to returning or exchanging the ring, you have other options as well. If you love the cut of the stone, you can see if the jeweler can transfer the stone to another ring style. Or if you love the ring, but not the stone, you can ask about replacing the stone itself.
As well, you can inquire about enhancements or wraps. You might be able to add extra “sparkle” to the ring setting. Another option is to ditch the idea of the engagement ring altogether and splurge on a more elaborate wedding band.
Whatever, you do, make sure to handle the situation with maturity and dignity. You said yes for a reason and you have a lifetime ahead of you in which you will have to make compromises together. Use this learning experience and take our advice. If you keep calm and discuss things rationally, you can turn a potential disaster into smooth sailing. In fact, if you decided to shop for a new ring together, you can make it a special event. Go out for a romantic dinner and make it romantic. The most important thing is that you are marrying the love of your life!